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Thursday, 22 November 2012

A Must Read : Getting To Know You

Writing this article made me remember so many things that happened when I was a growing child, it was a journey down memory lane. And one thing that inspired it was a movie, an old childhood movie, "THE KING AND I", You remember right? Oh I can see that smile on your face already, If you saw this movie when you were little, congratulations! You had a beautiful childhood.
Okay, it was actually a song from the movie, titled "GETTING TO KNOW YOU" I can still see in my minds eye, the smile on Anna's face as she sang the lyrics to the king's ward. Here's a part of the lyrics;


[Spoken] It's a very ancient saying,
But a true and honest thought,
That if you become a teacher,
By your pupils you'll be taught.

[Singing] As a teacher I've been learning --
You'll forgive me if I boast --
And I've now become an expert,
On the subject I like most.

[Spoken] Getting to know you.

[Singing] Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me.

Getting to know you,
Putting it my way,
But nicely,
You are precisely,
My cup of tea. FULL STOP

How do you get to know people?

By asking questions right?

Especially as we live in a world where our relationships are now 'over the waves'. We hardly do much in person. Twitter and BBM have taken over our lives.

Anyways, I digress.

Here's a scenario - people meet, get introduced, exchange pins (as is mostly the case) and kick off! They talk, perhaps ask questions within that process and 'get to know each other'.

Now here's where my problem is, recently I've been accused of 'not asking any questions'. Its happened on more than one occasion hence the reason why its become a bit of a concern. I've been told that I answer questions and don't ask any, which indirectly means I probably don't care.

On my part, I'd say that's a bit harsh because although it might ring true, its never really the case. It got me thinking though, so how do I get to 'know people'. I find that I can't really do the initial interrogation. Probably because it isn't effective for me. So when the questions end, how well do your conversational skills fare from that point? I think I'd rather study people and insert important information where appropriate. Many actually miss the fact one can say a lot or nothing in a conversation, depends on how receptive the person is to 'new entrants' in their lives. That is not to say they aren't 'interested'. So it feels rather weird when I get told "I've been asking all the questions since, I think its your turn now".

How do I deal with that? "Oh ok, so how many siblings do you have? Where do you live? What's your position in the family?" (I actually find that very archaic) but hey, whatever rocks your boat mate!

For me getting to know people involves learning how they think. Its a subconscious thing, I don't need to ask questions. Actually, I'm better off being asked questions cos I can't do the 'About You' speech.

Might seem like brain fart to some but in my mind, I've made a lot of sense. No? Yes?

Getting to know you,
Getting to feel free and easy
When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say

Haven't you noticed
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy?
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I'm learning about you
Day .. by ... day.

P.S: Post inspired by "King And I" In loving memory of Childhood and Thanks To My Daddy!, he bought the movie!!

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