it coming, at other times it is shocking and leaves
you thinking, Why? How? Please quit beating yourself up over it. It is always hard to go through the end of a relationship, and in most cases, it ends
on a sour and bitter note. It mustn't always be so, I mean, if at all the person ever mattered to you.
Here are few tips to make sure both parties leave with their heads held high, basically with your dignity intact and maybe even part as friends.
Some good things do end…..
If it's the WOMAN is ending the relationship:
It probably would be a bit colder and harsher than when a man's doing the breaking up, don't ask me why, it is just almost always that way. When a
woman's fed up, she'll be much less subtle than her male counterparts. They lack tact and diplomacy and just go on to reveal how they feel. That is not to
say that there aren't exceptions to this general rule. Try to understand what she's not saying, read between the lines. I know it must truly hurt at the
time but hey, she's done it. If you've been caught by surprise, I think you ought to disappear for some
time. So as to keep your dignity intact. If you hang around, you'd only succeed in pining for her, thereby increasing your chances of doing something
really stupid that you might regret later. Remember, escaping with your pride is important. At some point you need to ask her to explain why
she feels the relationship came to an end. Again, avoid apportioning blame, and try to get to the core
issue – whether that's money, sex, social lives or anything else – so you can avoid repeating mistakes next time. Sounds lame right? Don't worry
it's therapeutic and would definitely come in handy. The most important thing is to talk about it – but not
to her. (A definite NO! NO!!) Female friends are perfect, as they'll be sympathetic and supportive
and will encourage you to get everything emotional out in the open. Later on, your male mates will
come into their own, teasing you to cheer you up and taking you back out on the town.
Do the practical stuff that will help to keep your mind off the EX, while at the same time slowly
expunging her presence from your life. De-ex your flat or room. Get rid of her stuff and, if the whole place reminds you of her, move furniture around or
give it a lick of paint. Then hit the gym to get happy hormones rushing through your system and more importantly look hotter and feel better about yourself. Trust me on that. Your ego took a bruising, your self-esteem would need the extra boost. Ask for even more work at home or lose yourself in a
project. Occupy your mind. Anything to start thinking about YOU and not HER or US. Have an affair or a fling, whatever gets you through. Rebound sex is one way guys cope with heartbreak.
After that, you can start thinking about lessons you've learned and how they may help in future relationships. Then you can start taking positive
messages from a painful time.
If it's the MAN ending the relationship:
Please be kind. She used to be your everything. The queen in your universe, the woman you cuddled to sleep after a night of passion. Women are much
more emotionally fragile than men are in dealing with this sort of thing. It could be that your soon-to- be ex had no idea she was about to be dumped. It
could be that she had no inkling of the extent of your unhappiness. Or she may have been desperately trying to cling to a relationship that was clearly sinking under the waves. Whatever it is,
remember that you love, loved or at least really liked this person once. You shared plenty of good times as well as the more recent bad. You owe it to
her to treat her with respect when you split up. "You need to know why you have reached this impasse, because you owe it to your partner to be able to
explain it to her." Search deep within yourself and figure out why you are ending the relationship.
As for the woman, don't worry honey, it aint nothing but a small thing. Life will go on. Now do you want to leave the relationship with more than your heart-
broken? No! Please keep your pride, dignity, ego INTACT! Make sure you contain your tantrums and tears( Ok you can do the silent tears thing but that's that) If he isn't going to come back to you or give you a second chance, then all that drama would
only make you look more pathetic and make him even more relieved he's done with you. Deny him that pleasure. Ask him to explain why, give you reasons why, ask amicably, even when your heart is tearing up inside, you deserve that much…..at least. You need to find closure and a sense of ending
otherwise, you'd end up with the popular "I'm still in love with my Ex" syndrome. That happens when
there are a lot of issues you didn't deal with. Deal with it, with him and leave the excess baggage behind and move on. Immerse yourself in activities that would occupy you and keep you busy. Generally the same thing
that applied with the male advice. Except the rebound sex and all. Make sure you are emotionally healed before you embark on another relationship
please. Very important. A woman's approach to a relationship is totally different from a guy's. Our
minds can't hold more than seven thoughts at a time, so fill your brain up and slowly squeeze out thoughts of your ex. Ask for new challenges at
work, tougher assignments, overtime – anything you can get. Not only will it break up your daily routine, but it will be a positive distraction till you
feel stronger at least." Nobody is suggesting that all this will make
you happy immediately or make breaking up pain-free. But it will give both of you something positive to take from the relationship. OK, it didn't last a lifetime – most relationships don't – but you will both learn important lessons for the future. Don't get it wrong. Splitting up is never easy, whether you're the one doing the breaking-up
or the one being broken up with. But the main thing, is this: "No relationship is worthless. Even when you're hurting, you are learning.
P.S: When it happened to me, I saw it as a chance to learn and grow and we both walked away with our dignity intact
Follow @Sisi_Dammoe on twirra. *kisses*