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Friday, 8 February 2013

My Thinking Over - "Am I going to be your other woman forever? I have to meet someone. I can't put my life on hold for you... Funmi

He still hasn't called
After our first big fight.
C and I. He still hasn't called. Five days and no word from him.
It was horrible
I was driving when we started fighting.
I had to pull over.
I was crying way too much to be on the road I couldn't believe how unreasonable he could be. All because of Caribana
"Hey baby"
"Hey C! Missed you, missed you, missed you,missed youuuuu!"
Something about hearing his voice makes me act like a five year old.
"Miss you too dear. What are you doing?"
"Driving up to toronto for Caribana weekend."
"What's Caribana?"
"Some big west indian festival. Just another excuse to have a parade and go clubbing and get stupid
"Ah so you're going to get your freak on."
"Ha ha! Exactly! lots of American boys in town too"
"Hmmm... American boys huh? Thought you didn't like Americans?"
"I don't but it's a change from Canadian boys."
"So you plan to meet a boy this weekend?"I should have noticed that he was way too fixated on the "boys" but I didn't.
"Yupp! Maybe one for every night of the weekend even."
"Yes baby?"
"Excuse me? I'm sorry, have you forgotten that you are married? I'm not even your girlfriend! You have no right to forbid me anything. I will do what I damn well please with my weekend and any boys that happen to come along my way!"
I think I shocked him with that. I'm normally super nice and uber sweet but I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was not liking it. We went back and forth. Mad and crying I told him:

"Am I going to be your other woman forever? I have to meet someone. I can't put my life on hold for you. You're not leaving your wife ever. You're not marrying me. I'm supposed to wait till you get tired of me and find somebody who younger and cuter? I have a right to be happy too!" And then he said this

"You are my girl and as long as you are my girl there will be no other men in your life. Go ahead and have fun with your girls this weekend but if you're involved with any men I will know it and we will be done!"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"SCREW YOU!" I flung the phone into the back seatvand parked. I had heard more than enough.

Sad as it is to say, I didn't meet any men that weekend. I didn't even go out. I stayed at a friends in my pajamas. Upset and weepy for the entire weekend.

I hate that he can affect me like this and I hate that every time my phone rings I get mad when its not him.

And I can't believe he still hasn't called
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